Thursday, September 30, 2010
=)
Bought a scale; weighed myself. 74 kilos. I was at least 76 and probably more 77/78 to start this so I'm quite happy! 28 more to go.
And thanks to everyone for commenting!
The pills I got were out the back of a Cleo magazine... I had just been paid and was curious. From here. I ordered the version with oxytum included. How effective will they be? No idea; the science behind them is backed up with studies, but whether the pills actually mimic the studies, who knows?
For instance, oxytum contain magnesium which is associated with weight loss; the 30 Days tablets are meant to get rid of the Fermicute family of bacteria, which again has been studied scientifically. I guess what I'm trying to say is the scientific theory is valid. And they're Norwegian and come with a money back guarantee; I was concerned about how long it took me to receive them and the customer service team replied politely, even if it took them a few days.
I'm actually really enjoying being hydrated again - I was a professional athlete a few years ago and we used to drink so much water, it's great having that feeling again! But thanks for the reminder Cinnamon.
Jenny and Ana, I'll keep you updated.
If you want pills that are proven to work, have a look at Xenical/Orlistat. That will only work when you are consuming food with fat in it, though - what it does is block the enzymes that break down fat, so you can't absorb 25 - 30% of the fat you eat. That means, however, the unabsorbed fat comes out so your bowel motions will be a bit yuck and oily if you eat a lot of fat. Gross.
And thanks to everyone for commenting!
The pills I got were out the back of a Cleo magazine... I had just been paid and was curious. From here. I ordered the version with oxytum included. How effective will they be? No idea; the science behind them is backed up with studies, but whether the pills actually mimic the studies, who knows?
For instance, oxytum contain magnesium which is associated with weight loss; the 30 Days tablets are meant to get rid of the Fermicute family of bacteria, which again has been studied scientifically. I guess what I'm trying to say is the scientific theory is valid. And they're Norwegian and come with a money back guarantee; I was concerned about how long it took me to receive them and the customer service team replied politely, even if it took them a few days.
I'm actually really enjoying being hydrated again - I was a professional athlete a few years ago and we used to drink so much water, it's great having that feeling again! But thanks for the reminder Cinnamon.
Jenny and Ana, I'll keep you updated.
If you want pills that are proven to work, have a look at Xenical/Orlistat. That will only work when you are consuming food with fat in it, though - what it does is block the enzymes that break down fat, so you can't absorb 25 - 30% of the fat you eat. That means, however, the unabsorbed fat comes out so your bowel motions will be a bit yuck and oily if you eat a lot of fat. Gross.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Day 3, Five day fast 1
I'm feeling really good. I ordered some diet pills that I haven't tried before, before I took them I was feeling quite shakey - maybe too much caffeine with the coffee + green tea I'd had earlier, so I was mo somewhat concerned that it'd be a heart overdose, but the pills seem to be mostly herbal rather than caffeine, and to my surprise I've been feeling really good, and not at all hungry - which will be great for helping me to avoid binging and purging.
They have a money back guarantee but I think I won't be using it.... but we'll see!
They have a money back guarantee but I think I won't be using it.... but we'll see!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Before and Afters #3
That girl ^ has a very similar body type to me, but I have more of a waist and bigger boobs.
xx Kat
Progress
I haven't weighed myself yet (and hey, it's only been two days) but I feel a lot better. I'd noticed my tummy was starting to get a bit of a bulge (it's always been really flat, no matter how heavy I am), so before this I'd been trying to correct by eating healthy, high-fibre foods. Apparently I was just eating too much, because the bulge has nearly gone now!! Which makes me very excited.
I was naughty and had a bit of a binge and purge again yesterday... but baby steps! Today I woke up without feeling very hungry at all so I think that's a sign my stomach is starting to shrink back to a more reasonable size. Huzzah!
xx Kat
I was naughty and had a bit of a binge and purge again yesterday... but baby steps! Today I woke up without feeling very hungry at all so I think that's a sign my stomach is starting to shrink back to a more reasonable size. Huzzah!
xx Kat
Monday, September 27, 2010
Update
Glad to see I have some followers now :) Hello!
I stuck to my fast today - 2 x coffees, 1 x tea, water, and then the binge/purge - damn bacon and eggs!
I should really exercise now (especially since)/but because I'm feeling so shitty after finding out Darcie was given away I'm just going to read a book. Baby steps.
I stuck to my fast today - 2 x coffees, 1 x tea, water, and then the binge/purge - damn bacon and eggs!
I should really exercise now (especially since)/but because I'm feeling so shitty after finding out Darcie was given away I'm just going to read a book. Baby steps.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Anger
I am so angry right now - because of how upset and angry I am, I also binged and ate 2 x pieces of raisin toast with butter, and a bacon and egg sandwich with two pieces of white bread, two rashes of bacon and two eggs, and then some ice cream. I then purged. So provided I got most of that up (pretty sure I did), all I've had so far is some orange juice, a latte (home made) and water.
The reason I am so angry is because I had a beloved pet when I was younger - the family dog, but she was mine, a beautiful Weimaranar (probably spelled that wrong...) and one day I got home from a sleep-over and was told that she was dead - that she'd tried to run away and had been hit by a car. My parents just told me today that they'd given her away because they didn't feel she was fitting in and that a family friend was looking.
Darcie (my dog) was so important to me, and when I thought she died I ate and ate and ate that was the start of my disordered eating. I thought that I'd killed her because I left for the sleep over, because I didn't play with her enough, because she wasn't happy with me. I ate and ate to make myself better. The worst part was that I didn't get to say goodbye.
My parents could have given me the chance to say goodbye! They could have told me she had cancer or something like that... I would have been upset but I would have known it wasn't my fault.
Would I still have struggled between being overweight and underweight had that happened?
Who knows.
The reason I am so angry is because I had a beloved pet when I was younger - the family dog, but she was mine, a beautiful Weimaranar (probably spelled that wrong...) and one day I got home from a sleep-over and was told that she was dead - that she'd tried to run away and had been hit by a car. My parents just told me today that they'd given her away because they didn't feel she was fitting in and that a family friend was looking.
Darcie (my dog) was so important to me, and when I thought she died I ate and ate and ate that was the start of my disordered eating. I thought that I'd killed her because I left for the sleep over, because I didn't play with her enough, because she wasn't happy with me. I ate and ate to make myself better. The worst part was that I didn't get to say goodbye.
My parents could have given me the chance to say goodbye! They could have told me she had cancer or something like that... I would have been upset but I would have known it wasn't my fault.
Would I still have struggled between being overweight and underweight had that happened?
Who knows.
And it begins again.
Ok.I'm off. Tomorrow my fast will begin; 24 hours then 24 hours then 24 hours then 24 hours then 24 hours. Wish me luck!
Weight Loss Drugs
Xenical (Orlistat) prevents between 25 - 30% of dietary fat from being absorbed by blocking the enzymes (i.e. lipase) which break down lipids (fat) so they can be absorbed across the intestinal wall and into the blood stream. It works but if you may get steatorrhoea. (ew!) And it's expensive.... Not so good for me with $$ issues right now :(
Reductil is apparently a sort of amphetamine that revs your metabolism like crazy.
Has anyone tried the Kekwick diet? Like this or this?
What do you think? Have you tried any? Did they work for you?
Reductil is apparently a sort of amphetamine that revs your metabolism like crazy.
Has anyone tried the Kekwick diet? Like this or this?
What do you think? Have you tried any? Did they work for you?
Sea Salt Purging
From here.
"The exit of the stomach into the small intestines is on the lower right hand side of the stomach. When you drink, the saltwater goes to the bottom of the stomach, below the opening. To get the saltwater into the small intestine, you need to tip the stomach like a teapot so the saltwater flows out. That's why you lie on your right side."
"The exit of the stomach into the small intestines is on the lower right hand side of the stomach. When you drink, the saltwater goes to the bottom of the stomach, below the opening. To get the saltwater into the small intestine, you need to tip the stomach like a teapot so the saltwater flows out. That's why you lie on your right side."
Errr... I think salt water purging is a good idea to do occasionally to flush out the system but that's plain wrong; the same movement of the muscles of the intestine that propels food/liquid throughout the gut ("peristalsis") works when moving food/liquid between the stomach and the duodenum... There is a sphincter between the two that keeps it shut most of the time until pressure in the stomach is registered by "stretch receptors" which stimulate the contraction of various muscles to open this sphincter and let contents pass.
It's probably a good idea anyway though, just to lie down and relax while it courses through your system.
Exercise
I am hoping when I make online ED friends, they'll be able to help me getting motivated with exercise and restrictive dieting... When I have been at my skinniest in the past it's been through Mia, but I'd like to do it this time much more healthily. I find when I exercise I really want to eat because I've justified the food in my head. Like today, after a walk, bike ride, jog and game of tennis, I decided that eating 4 low-fat single-serve tubs of custard was ok.
Before and Afters
Shamelessly reposed from here - I may need to take this down, I've asked whether it's ok for me to repost or not... so we'll see. But I am feeling so motivated for my fast right now!
Ana? Mia? Edie?
From here.
This girl seems to have been told that Ana isn't right for her.
This isn't at all scientific, but for me Ana is restriction, Mia is ritual and Edie is a bit of everything.
Edie is what I refer to a non-specified Eating Disorder as. EDNOS is, after all, a mouthful.
Keep those mouths empty!
This girl seems to have been told that Ana isn't right for her.
This isn't at all scientific, but for me Ana is restriction, Mia is ritual and Edie is a bit of everything.
Edie is what I refer to a non-specified Eating Disorder as. EDNOS is, after all, a mouthful.
Keep those mouths empty!
Motivation
(Inspired by a great blog, here)
"4. I want to run around in a bikini on the beach
5. I want my boyfriend to pick me up and carry me around with ease
6. I want people to tell me I'm skinny and call me the skinny one when I'm not around
"4. I want to run around in a bikini on the beach
5. I want my boyfriend to pick me up and carry me around with ease
6. I want people to tell me I'm skinny and call me the skinny one when I'm not around
13. I want to have bruises on my hipbones (when i was skinny I always got bruises there for some reason)
15. Most of all, I want to be envied by everyone who sees me."
Motivation.
I will reach my goal weight and enjoy running around in a bikini on the beach.
The boy I like who I have been turning away because of how gross and fat I am right now, will be able to pick me up and carry me around, and I'll pretend I don't like it.
I will be the skinny Katerina.
I will get bruises on my hips again when I lie on the floor for too long.
Everyone who sees me, will be jealous of me.
Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret
That is SUCH a good quote! (From here)
I am going to start off with a week-long fast from solids, although I will be allowed to eat solids provided I purge. I have stocked up on some cranberry juice, low-fat milk and orange juice, and of course tea and coffee. And water water water! I'm really excited about seeing Ana and Mia again, I miss being skinny and sexy. I can't WAIT to fit into my skinny clothes - this time it'll be for keeps.
Wish me luck!!
I have also ordered some diet pills online that you need to have a prescription for in Australia. If I don't get them I'll just have to go and find a doctor who will prescribe them - I'm definitely overweight but they never believe me until I get on the scale and they see how much it is!
I am going to start off with a week-long fast from solids, although I will be allowed to eat solids provided I purge. I have stocked up on some cranberry juice, low-fat milk and orange juice, and of course tea and coffee. And water water water! I'm really excited about seeing Ana and Mia again, I miss being skinny and sexy. I can't WAIT to fit into my skinny clothes - this time it'll be for keeps.
Wish me luck!!
I have also ordered some diet pills online that you need to have a prescription for in Australia. If I don't get them I'll just have to go and find a doctor who will prescribe them - I'm definitely overweight but they never believe me until I get on the scale and they see how much it is!
Becoming Delicate
Just noticed that there is another "becoming delicate" ED blog - this is not by the same person, didn't mean to take the name!!
Weighting to escape
(The title, amongst other things, of a very good ana-mia blog)
I will escape the weight.
I will escape the weight.
Nothing tastes as good as slenderness feels
Nothing tastes as good as slenderness feels.
Food makes you bloat, makes you slow to run, it takes up your thoughts and weighs them down. Slenderness is vulnerability but also the ability to run and dance easily; it's beauty.
I am so overweight
I was doing well and hadn't seen Ana or Mia in months when a very skinny non-Western girl remarked on the fact that I'd put on weight and my cheeks had "puffed out" and my thighs were "now very big". It's true, I have put on weight - I got quite sick and didn't exercise in months, and that, combined with not seeing Ana or Mia, meant that I've stacked on the kilos. Last time I was weight I was 76kg, so by now I'd be 77 or even 78.
And at 163cm, that's just gross, although admittedly, luckily, most of my weight is in well-proportioned muscle, breasts and hips. So I'm saying hello to Ana and Mia again until I reach my goal weight of 45 kilos.
Today I woke up and had two coffees, a small curry, three thermos of green tea, most of a 2L bottle of diet coke, 2 diet pills, some pistachios, three carrots and - ugh I'm so ashamed - four single-serve low-fat tubs of custard. I also ate some icecream which I was smart enough to purge.
And at 163cm, that's just gross, although admittedly, luckily, most of my weight is in well-proportioned muscle, breasts and hips. So I'm saying hello to Ana and Mia again until I reach my goal weight of 45 kilos.
Today I woke up and had two coffees, a small curry, three thermos of green tea, most of a 2L bottle of diet coke, 2 diet pills, some pistachios, three carrots and - ugh I'm so ashamed - four single-serve low-fat tubs of custard. I also ate some icecream which I was smart enough to purge.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)